fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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