Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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