I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
