I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
