I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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