I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
