What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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