If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
