Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
