oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
