he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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