now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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