I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
