What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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