..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
