I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
