come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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