and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
