I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
