Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
