Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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