my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
