I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
