I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
