my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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