It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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