it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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