I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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