My first STD was from a foam party
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
