I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm always down for nudity.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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