I want to walk on stilts...naked
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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