OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
