Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
