whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
