You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
