don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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