Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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