Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
