Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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