I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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