Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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