so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
