Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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