Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
