I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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