why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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