Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Green mimosas i think yes
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
