On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
