At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
