yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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