So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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