i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I had to cum in my sink.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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