You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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