The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
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